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Tozlock Holmes - A Study in Missing Female Users

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Tozlock Holmes - A Study in Missing Female Users

Post by Hallowed Be Thy Name on Sun Jan 17, 2016 7:49 pm

Tozlock Holmes
A Study in Missing Female Users


Chapter 1 - Mr. Tozlock Holmes


In March of 2015, I returned to the internet after some time away book reading. I tried to find somewhere that I could make my home, but SomethingAwful became too expensive, and so I tried to find someplace else.
As I was looking, I met an old friend. It happened this way:
One minute, I was looking up Thomas stuff; the next– “Diesel? Diesel 11? I haven’t seen you in ages!”
It was the TTTE Wiki. I WAS surprised.
“Fancy seeing you again!” I said.
We talked sometime, and then we got around to the subject of boardings.
“Hmm, come to think of it, I just met a fellow this morning who wanted to know if I knew anyone who he could share a room with.”
Well, this sounded rather good.
“Can I meet him?”
“Sure, I’ll bring you ‘round myself… but I don’t know if you’d like him.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Well… there’s something peculiar about Mr. Tozlock Holmes (or Toz for short). He’s not a bad sort, but he WILL get quite OCD every now and then, and I don’t even know what he does for a living.”
“Hmm… that is interesting, but I’ll still meet him, just to be sure.”
“Alright, then, I’ll bring you to him. Just enter my forum.”
And that’s how a Diesel 11 joined the TTTE Wiki Forums.


TTTE Wiki brought him ‘round.
“Hello, Mr. Holmes.”
“Hello, my dear Wikia. What can I do for you?”
“Well, I’ve brought this fellow, Diesel 11, to meet you. He wants to share a room with you.”
“Indeed.” He shook my hand, and looked over me.
“Recently been reading?”
“Why, yes.”
“Haven’t been online in a while?”
“Yes!”
“And found SomethingAwful so expensive?”
“Yes indeed! You seem to know everything.”
Toz just smiled.
“Well, I think we’ll get along just fine. I have my eye on an All-Game Forum. Would that suit you?”
“Surely, yes.”
“Good. I think we can go ahead and get all moved in.”



Little did I know what this would lead to….

_________________
I'm waiting in my cold cell as the bell begins to chime
Thinking on my past life, and it doesn't have much time
Because at 5 o'clock, they're taking me to the gallows pole
The sands of time for me are running low
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Re: Tozlock Holmes - A Study in Missing Female Users

Post by Toz76 on Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:06 pm

Hmm... I'll be honest: when I first read this, I was a little pissed that you were using my name, but this is so friggin' hilarious that I'm going to let it continue with full support. Razz I look forward to seeing where this goes. (And also, don't forget that half our mod team is female... even though they never come on anymore...)

...wait, do I end up on heroin like Sherlock? Please let the answer be no...

_________________
I know you'll never forgive me. And I don't blame you. I wouldn't forgive me either. I was ignorant and irresponsible and small-minded. But predators shouldn't suffer because of my mistakes. I have to fix this. But I can't do it without you. *crying* And after we're done, you can hate me, and that'll be fine, because I was a horrible friend, and I hurt you. And you can walk away knowing you were right all along. I really am just a dumb bunny.
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Re: Tozlock Holmes - A Study in Missing Female Users

Post by Hallowed Be Thy Name on Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:12 pm

Well, the reason I was using your name is for this reason:

–'Franklock Holmes' doesn't sound as good
–Neither does 'laGlock Holmes'
–Sherlock is male
–You're the admin
–It couldn't be me, because I'm Watson
–It's an All-Game Fiction, so it'd have to be one of us

All in all, you were the best choice.

As for the heroin, no you won't take it. You'll take COCAINE, which is what Holmes used!! Twisted Evil Razz No, just kidding! I'll skip the drugs part. Wink

Glad you liked it, though, there's more coming.

_________________
I'm waiting in my cold cell as the bell begins to chime
Thinking on my past life, and it doesn't have much time
Because at 5 o'clock, they're taking me to the gallows pole
The sands of time for me are running low
avatar
Hallowed Be Thy Name
Mod
Mod

Posts : 2907
Points : 7199
Join date : 2015-07-13
Location : HERE

Character sheet
Name of Character: Behemoth (Gene)
Species: Other: (+1 Endurance, -1 Empathy)
Allignment: True Neutral (No bonus, less likely to be attacked)

View user profile http://thelocalbar.proboards.com

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