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Jokes and riddles

Post by Toz76 on Tue Jul 14, 2015 8:59 pm

If you have a joke, a riddle, a witticism, or anything similar, post it here!
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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Hallowed Be Thy Name on Tue Jul 14, 2015 9:00 pm

What walks on 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, at 3 legs at night? ( Razz )
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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Frankthetriviaman on Tue Jul 14, 2015 11:46 pm

I got it!!  It is... A tiger-gorilla hybrid with an extendable third leg!

In tiger mode, it is four legged, but in gorilla mode it is two legged.  At this point it can reach out its extendable third leg.

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Hallowed Be Thy Name on Wed Jul 15, 2015 6:09 pm

No. Razz
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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Toz76 on Wed Jul 15, 2015 6:44 pm

A man runs into his friend in the street and says "Greg said you were dead!

"Yeah, but obviously, I'm still alive," says his friend.

The man says: "Well, I trust Greg more than I trust you."
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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Frankthetriviaman on Wed Jul 15, 2015 8:28 pm

D-11...

Then it must be man!

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Hallowed Be Thy Name on Wed Jul 15, 2015 9:01 pm

Right!

"I wish I was dead, or that it was tomorrow night!" exclaimed the excited child.

"If you wait long enough, both of your wishes will come true," said her mother.
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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Frankthetriviaman on Wed Jul 15, 2015 11:46 pm

What is it, that gets wetter as it dries

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Hallowed Be Thy Name on Thu Jul 16, 2015 9:09 am

A towel.
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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Frankthetriviaman on Sat Jul 18, 2015 11:50 pm

How much does a truck full of bones weigh?

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Hallowed Be Thy Name on Sun Jul 19, 2015 5:28 pm

However much a truck full of bones weighs...
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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Frankthetriviaman on Sun Jul 19, 2015 5:41 pm

It's a skele-ton!

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Hallowed Be Thy Name on Sun Jul 19, 2015 6:02 pm

Oh.

Why did the seance cross the road?
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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Frankthetriviaman on Tue Jul 21, 2015 10:36 pm

To get to the other side?

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Hallowed Be Thy Name on Wed Jul 22, 2015 12:09 pm

Yes.

Why did the skeleton trick or treat by himself?

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Frankthetriviaman on Thu Jul 23, 2015 12:28 am

Because he was all a-bone?

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Hallowed Be Thy Name on Thu Jul 23, 2015 9:50 am

Maybe. The real answer is 'Because he had noBODY to go with.'

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Frankthetriviaman on Thu Jul 23, 2015 6:27 pm

I once read a magazine, and the pack page had jokes from the "warped wiseman." Here is one of his quips:

"Why is it we drive on parkways and park on driveways?"

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Hallowed Be Thy Name on Thu Jul 23, 2015 8:03 pm

Razz That's a good one!

AC/DC has long been criticized for having songs that sound too similar. When told that they had made 10 albums that sounded the same, guitarist Angus Young said, "No we haven't. We've made 11 albums that sound the same."

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Frankthetriviaman on Thu Jul 23, 2015 10:58 pm

So... You're name is alternating current/direct current?

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Toz76 on Fri Jul 24, 2015 12:42 am

True story: a man was pulled over for speeding. The officer comes up and says: "Sir, you were going 72 MPH."

The man responded: "That simply isn't true! I was doing 75!"

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Frankthetriviaman on Fri Jul 24, 2015 3:38 pm

You have to pick one of three doors:

Behind door one are 20 ninjas ready to attack you
Behind door two is a lion that has not eaten in three months
Behind door three is a fire thats burning out of control

Which door is the safe room?

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Hallowed Be Thy Name on Wed Jul 29, 2015 10:00 pm

I'm guessing 3, because a fire that's raging out of control could be love/soul fire. And besides, otherwise the building would've burned down.

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Frankthetriviaman on Wed Jul 29, 2015 11:44 pm

Actually, it's door two... Because if the lion hasn't eaten in three months, it's long dead

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Re: Jokes and riddles

Post by Toz76 on Thu Jul 30, 2015 1:02 am

You're both wrong. You go out the same way you came in.

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Re: Jokes and riddles

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