What do your foods really think?

CELERY: The humans! Who else? 700 million is a lot more manageable than 7 billion!
*Door gets kicked in*
AFA AGENT: Anti-food Association! We've been watching you for weeks via the all-game forum. You're under arrest for conspiring to destroy humanity... where'd he go?
*static*
CELERY: Sorry about that- where was I?

OK, I'm notifying the FBI.

APPLE: The Food Band Intercontinental?
PEAR: Or the Fruit Band of Inventors?

No, Federal Bureau of Investigation.

CUCUMBER: Never heard of 'em.

Just wanted to let you know, your plans have fallen behind a little

*throws celery onto the counter, a huge bite taken out of him

CELERY: I'll never talk, filthy human scum!
APPLE: *Watching on screen* Code red, scenario 435! Celery army, prepare to rescue our noble ally!
PEAR: I'll call Rosaline Asparagus.
MANGO: We can't lose him, too!
CHEESE: There's only one person who can get him out of there. GOLDFISH.

Too late, just ate him.

APPLE: Goldfish is not a food, or one of those crackers. He's an actual goldfish. And he's on our side.
GOLDFISH: All hail future secondary characters in the story! Now let's go!

(Actually, Goldfish will appear in "Chronicles of the Fridge", but I chose not to include him in this because he's not a food, per se.

All- what are the economics of a food populated country?

Can I destroy you know?!

Do you have a religion? Did a Jesus Bread eat flesh, preform miracles, and was cooked over a flame, and was resurrected? Or was there something else?

Frankthetriviaman wrote:All- what are the economics of a food populated country?

APPLE: The currency is sprinkles, or in some places, human toenails. *shudder* There are no taxes.
CHEESE: There are three types of food settlements: stores, homes, and foodopolises. The first two are exactly that: grocery stores, people's kitchens, etc. Foodopolises are all-food cities underground, like Fruitopolis, Vegopolis, and Hamburglin. The first two for the most part govern themselves, but foodopolises are more closely tied to the central government.

The Number Of The Diesel wrote:Can I destroy you know?!

APPLE: No.
CHEESE: Can I destroy you know? Shouldn't it be "Can I destroy? You know!" Or "Can I destroy you now?" No to both.

You say sprinkles are currency. So, as for Cupcakes and Ice Creams - Do they don precious things (Human equivalent - Gold Pocket-watches, crystal-topped walking sticks, et cetera)?

William Shakespeare wrote:Do you have a religion? Did a Jesus Bread eat flesh, preform miracles, and was cooked over a flame, and was resurrected? Or was there something else?

CHEESE: There are multiple food religions. Christianity is not among them. The story goes that two pieces of bread from the Last Supper began preaching. One said that it was our god-given duty as foods to be eaten. This was understandably unpopular, and he was rockcaked to death. The second piece declared that the Last Supper really was the last- no one would ever eat again. The next day, when people awoke and ate breakfast, he was exposed as a big fat liar and rockcaked to death. In recent times, a new Christian Food group, the Sons of Discord, has formed. They believe that the eating of the Apple by Eve in Eden was the original sin, and they believe one day that there will be a "last apple" (roughly equivalent to Jesus) who's death will end eating forever. The Sons of Discord are quite controversial, however. Veggietales is a topic for another time.
Other human religions have caught on, however, mainly those with dietary restrictions. Islam is particularly popular, especially among pork products, which Muslims are forbidden to eat. Pastafarianism is also popular, although technically the Flying Spaghetti monster would be multiple entities, with each noodle being a person.
There are also food-original religions. The Hornans worship the Horn of Plenty (of Greek and Roman myth), as their creator. Though popular, it tends to cause controversy, especially the Bugle Chip scandal. That's a story for another day, but I will say this: they didn't always have bugle calls in the Food Armies!

Interesting!

William Shakespeare wrote:You say sprinkles are currency. So, as for Cupcakes and Ice Creams - Do they don precious things (Human equivalent - Gold Pocket-watches, crystal-topped walking sticks, et cetera)?

APPLE: 90% of the time, the sprinkles are sprinkled on by humans in the bakery or cone. Some, however, do it themselves. Mostly as a way to carry it more easily, but some as a result of ego. *shudders* They do get mugged a lot, though!

Do any of you adhere to food-religions? Also, do some regard the humans as gods?


How do you get around? Do you hop? Do you have food cars, trains, et cetera?

William Shakespeare wrote:Do any of you adhere to food-religions? Also, do some regard the humans as gods?


How do you get around? Do you hop? Do you have food cars, trains, et cetera?

PEAR: Kiwi, Cucumber, Apple and I are Hornans. (Actually, I think Apple only converted to make me happy.) Grapefruit might be religious, but it's hard to tell with him (he keeps mentioning a "great one", but he could just be referring to Cheese). Mango is an actor at heart, and she will do anything to get her role down pat, including changing her religion to match the character's. Stupid, I know, but she does.
MANGO: Hey!
PEAR: Right now, she's Pastafarian. Anyway, the others are definitely Atheists.
CHEESE: Re: Transportation: Yes, we do hop. Some roll or slide, but not all. We do not have vehicles for the most part, due to the difficulty of size. A pea and a roast turkey have completely different size requirements. That's why Architecture is so challenging (doors). A G-scale train system in Foodor (a foodopolis under Barrow-in-Furness, England) still runs, catering to smaller foods.
For long-distance transport, Apricot Airlines is a go-to. They are very strong Apricots with parachutes who carry people to and fro. Personally, I prefer Flying Squirrel Airlines, as Apricot has a tendency to overbook.

I see.

Do you have books? Did Johannes Grapetenburg invent your printing press?

CHEESE: The printing press was invented by Grapetenburg, but we simply use paper instead of full-on books. There's a joke about a Blackberry, a Turnip, a Peach, and a Human cookbook that references this- but now is not the time.

I see.

What other forms of entertainment do you have?

MANGO: Television, Plays, and Art Galleries are the big ones. We don't have sports, we obviously can't fish, and the "great hobby" of model railroading is unsuitable, since we don't have many real railroads!

Mhm. On the subject of candy -
Are gummy-worms used to lure Swedish fish, which are promptly cooked and eaten?

Who invented your television?

Who was the food equivalent of Shakespeare, Picasso, and others?