Jokes and riddles

If you have a joke, a riddle, a witticism, or anything similar, post it here!

What walks on 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, at 3 legs at night? ( )

I got it!!  It is... A tiger-gorilla hybrid with an extendable third leg!

In tiger mode, it is four legged, but in gorilla mode it is two legged.  At this point it can reach out its extendable third leg.

No.

A man runs into his friend in the street and says "Greg said you were dead!

"Yeah, but obviously, I'm still alive," says his friend.

The man says: "Well, I trust Greg more than I trust you."

D-11...

Then it must be man!

Right!

"I wish I was dead, or that it was tomorrow night!" exclaimed the excited child.

"If you wait long enough, both of your wishes will come true," said her mother.

What is it, that gets wetter as it dries

A towel.

How much does a truck full of bones weigh?

However much a truck full of bones weighs...

It's a skele-ton!

Oh.

Why did the seance cross the road?

To get to the other side?

Yes.

Why did the skeleton trick or treat by himself?

Because he was all a-bone?

Maybe. The real answer is 'Because he had noBODY to go with.'

I once read a magazine, and the pack page had jokes from the "warped wiseman." Here is one of his quips:

"Why is it we drive on parkways and park on driveways?"

That's a good one!

AC/DC has long been criticized for having songs that sound too similar. When told that they had made 10 albums that sounded the same, guitarist Angus Young said, "No we haven't. We've made 11 albums that sound the same."

So... You're name is alternating current/direct current?

True story: a man was pulled over for speeding. The officer comes up and says: "Sir, you were going 72 MPH."

The man responded: "That simply isn't true! I was doing 75!"

You have to pick one of three doors:

Behind door one are 20 ninjas ready to attack you
Behind door two is a lion that has not eaten in three months
Behind door three is a fire thats burning out of control

Which door is the safe room?

I'm guessing 3, because a fire that's raging out of control could be love/soul fire. And besides, otherwise the building would've burned down.

Actually, it's door two... Because if the lion hasn't eaten in three months, it's long dead

You're both wrong. You go out the same way you came in.