What do your foods really think?

TheBlazingRailway wrote:All: What do you guys think of us humans?

MANGO: They're always trying to eat us!
CELERY: They must be stopped!
BANANA: They're horrible!
APPLE: When they aren't eating, they're nice. When they are...
KIWI: Eh.
PEAR: You all seem nice enough.
CHEESE: They're fascinating. How can they talk when it's well established that only foods can? They warrant further study.
GRAPEFRUIT: Uh...
CUCUMBER: I've long held the belief that if humans would see things from our perspective, we could put aside our petty differences and create a world where no one gets eaten. Until then, I consider most humans as guilty until proven innocent. They eat too much!

The Number Of The Diesel wrote:Would you maybe consider having another thread for drinks?

APPLE: Well, I know some beverages that would be interested, but watch out for alcoholic beverages, especially beer. They are not to be trusted.
CHEESE: I don't know about that... they've evolved a fascinating defense mechanisms against human consumption-
APPLE: Plus, fruit juice has always creeped me out. It's made from the corpses of fruits! Think about that next time you have apple juice!

Would you like me to make the thread? I might be able to pound some sense into the alcohols.

APPLE: As long as you don't incorporate a beer, you can do whatever
CUCUMBER: You don't need our permission.
APPLE: On second thought, no apple juice, either *shudders*

(Wow, a spin-off thread already! And I haven't even started the story yet!)

What story?

The Number Of The Diesel wrote:What story?

(Remember, all these will soon be appearing in a story. See the first post.)

Oh, Ok.

So guys, what do you think of this site?

APPLE: Nice! I like it.
PEAR: Very... purple.
BANANA: Eh.
KIWI: Eh.
GRAPEFRUIT: Uh...
MANGO: Fantastic!
CUCUMBER: Not bad.
CELERY: Eh.
CHEESE: Too much rock music.

What is your very favorite thing?

APPLE: Pear.
PEAR: Apple.
BANANA: My mannequin collection.
GRAPEFRUIT: My rock. Isn't he the cutest little rock? Oh, you're so cute! Yes you are! Yes you are!
KIWI: My paint set.
MANGO: My book of Shakespeare's plays- no, I don't copy him! "The Tragedy of Hamomelette, Prince of Danishes" was all me!
CUCUMBER: My candy cane. I'm not as young as I used to be, and...
CELERY: My general's marshmallow.
CHEESE: My scientific tools.

All right, who cut the cheese just now?

CHEESE: Ow, paper cut.

OK, I'm thinking of making Ask The Alcoholic Drinks. Who would you give your vote in for, guys?

APPLE: Anyone but beer. *shudders*

Great! I'll use him!

Any others?

APPLE: No! You may NOT use the Most Interesting Consumable in the world!
CHEESE: How about a Red's apple ale?
APPLE: Nooooooo!

OK, well I've already made a list, so...

What do you hope that your last words will be when the time comes.

So, thoughts on the beef?

And it's creation.

The Number Of The Diesel wrote:OK, well I've already made a list, so...

What do you hope that your last words will be when the time comes.

CELERY: I will not speak! I will fight to the end! No one shall eat me!
GRAPEFRUIT: Uh...
BANANA: [censored]
APPLE: Um... next question!

So... I heard that blueberries are actually purple...

Frankthetriviaman wrote:So, thoughts on the beef?

CELERY: I've got no beef with him... no pun intended.
CHEESE: Poor guy. Doomed to death on the grill.

The Number Of The Diesel wrote:And it's creation.

CELERY: So, cows die to make beef. Who cares? Cows themselves aren't food, so why worry?
APPLE: Now apple pie... that's barbaric.

Frankthetriviaman wrote:So... I heard that blueberries are actually purple...

CHEESE: Coloration is an illusion caused by the wavelengths of light reflected off an object. Different eyes perceive the colours differently. It is thus impossible to ascertain the coloration without examining-
CELERY: Oh, I know about blueberries! My troops fill them with explosives and drop them on the humans from above. Good times...

That must be a blast.